No kids allowed


I had only heard of what I’ve experienced for the past two days with this blog. People warned me about it, they had been there and it sucked. You think and you think and you think, but it’s all blank. Yes, I was experiencing the infamous writer’s block.

All I was able to think about was that I was in my bed at 10.30pm, still working for school while I should’ve enjoyed the last Thursday night before revision started. I should have lassone to a bar, ordered countless Martinis on the rocks with a lemon slice and that was it. No, instead I was thinking: “What else do I have to say about games to these lovely readers?” And whilst reminiscing about that very blurry Sunday night/morning last weekend, I had an epiphany. That was it, that shots-shots-shot-shotswas what I had to talk about. Drinking. But of course there was the problem that was our topic: games. It took me probably about 0.078 seconds to just think: “drinking games it is.” And that, my dearest readers, is what my final blog post will be about.

You’re probably experiencing your aha-erlebis when you think back about the title of this post, and maybe this is not appropriate for a school assignment, but let’s just wing this. As we’re all 18+, I’m pretty sure we’ve all been there. We’re going to a friend’s house, we’re expecting fancy dinner so we suit up, spend an hour in front of the mirror, arrive to have, indeed, that fancy dinner and after dessert Lisa decides to speak up. “Oh my God you guyssss, I just had the best idea ever. Let’s do shooooots.” Congratulations, Lisa. You just had the worst. Idea. Ever. But of course we’re like 1) shut up, Lisa. No one asked you, and 2) yeah, let’s. And so you’re taking out 4 shot glasses and 4 regular ones, because who really has shot glasses at home? And you pour that nasty tequila in those glasses and then we’ve come to yet another problem because congratulations Lisa, you just had the worst. Idea. Ever. You can’t just go and do shots, you’re not 14 years old anymore. No we need a game to play that makes us feel as if we  e a r n e d  to do shot.

So what do we have? 4 shot glasses, 4 regular glasses, nasty tequila and of course the next problem. Congratulations, Lisa. You just had the worst. Idea. Ever. “What game do we play? Of course the game with the cards, Lisa.” God damn it. Do you remember the rules to this Game, Lisa? Of course not. No one does. And so we have to look it up and it is the worst buzzkill ever and the entire room starts to smell like tequila. Congratulations, Lisa. You just had the worst. Idea. Ever.

And that is in fact why I wanted to write this blog post. Because right before you have your drinking game, you have to look the rules up. And I don’t ever want to experience that anymore. I want to know the rules. (Actually, I want to make the rules, but there’s always this one guy who sort of knows the rules but forgot a key element. Stupid Mark.) I went on the Internet, looked the game up and it turns out it’s actually quite simple. Drunk people are dumb people, exhibit A. You need: a deck of cards, people who may or may not already be drunk and alcohol. And here is how it goes…

Warning: know your own limits when playing this and make sure you don’t have to drive anymore. That’ll be all, enjoy it! 

You sit around at a table or just in a circle. Everyone takes one card off the deck and the card you took stands for a certain assignment/rule. The assignments or rules are explained underneath. The most important rule of all is that you cannot go to the toilet. If you break this rule by going anyway, you have to do a certain amount of shots. I opt for 5. It’s my lucky number. Or 13. It’s my second favorite number. But that might be lethal, so let’s stick with 5.

A: Switch rotation in which people take a card off the deck
K: Drink 1 shot
Q: Have someone else drink 1 shot
B: Give an assignment to someone. If not completed, they have to drink 1 shot
10: Bathroom card. Only with this card you may go to the bathroom. You can keep this card until you need it.
9: You have to name a brand in a certain category, e.g. cars. Everyone has to name a brand within 3 seconds. The first one to fail has to drink 1 shot.
8: Everyone has to point a finger at one person in the group. The one most pointed at has to drink 1 shot.
7: Everyone has to take cards off the deck, the one who has the fourth 7 has to drink 1 shot.
6: When you have the number 6, you can make up your own rule. The first one to break it, has to drink 1 shot. E.g. forbid to say someone’s name.
5: When you have this card, no one is allowed to answer your questions. The first one to do so, loses and has to drink 1 shot.
4: Pick one word no one is allowed to say anymore.  The first one to do so… (you know the rest.)
3: With number 3 you can eliminate the rule made with 6.
2: Multiply. Pick a number between 2 and 9 (apart from 7) and say it, the next person has to multiply it by 2 and so on. E.g. I say 3, the next person has to say 6, the next 9 etc. The first one to make a mistake has to drink 1 shot.

And that was it! I’m warning you though, you might have forgotten the rules again by the next morning. Truth of the matter is, you might have forgotten all that happened that evening. (Congratulations Lisa, this is why you had the worst. Idea. Ever.) So keep our blog close at all times when alcohol is present and you’ll be alright. There is nothing more for me to add.

Last love, Hannelore.

P.s.: Some of you may think Lisa and I are not friends. This is where you’re wrong. I don’t even know Lisa and this is an Internet joke you should get accustomed to. Also, don’t call your child Lisa. She’ll suffer. F-cking Lisa.